Once Upon a Time at the Zoo

Once upon a time I worked at a zoo. I really enjoyed working with the animals; I enjoyed working outdoors. But it came to an end when I was fired. The purpose of this essay is not to go over the reasons I was fired. Those reasons for my termination are up for debate but what is on my mind is what I did to look forward after that termination. I thought about what career path I should take and what kind of work I was best suited for? I felt that I was well suited for the zoo job. I had a BS in biology. I enjoyed the animals and working with them, but after being fired I felt returning to a zoo job somewhere else was a dead end.

So I was stuck with the question “What do I do now?” I found a job at a bakery soon after the zoo. My manager there was one of the best managers I’ve ever worked for. I discovered that the people you work with can make the difference in a job. Building those relationships can make for a more positive work place. Even though relationships are important I didn’t think that this was the career for me.

Working the job at the zoo, I had my weaknesses but I didn’t see my termination coming. I’ve come to feel a degree uncertainty on how well I’m doing in my job. I think that this had a lot to do with my relationships that I had with those above me. If I knew what my boss at the zoo thought of me I could have seen it coming, whatever the true reasons for firing me.

I learned to bake bread as well. I’ve kept this skill as a hobby. It is refreshing to be involved in something that judged on the actual outcome. Either bread comes out good or it turns out bad. It is clear how well I’ve done. It is a good feeling not to be judged personally but to be judged on your skill. There is some subjective judgment but overall one has something concrete to point too when being judged. Some other jobs don’t have anything concrete to point to; they only have abstractions to claim to have done well and then they may have someone else claim that they didn’t do well. I think it is important in a job to have something concrete to point to and say I did that and I did a good job.

Another aspect to work that I think is extremely necessary in all professions but very rare to find is a mentor. I’m not sure why this no longer consider something we need. Maybe most people feel they can do everything on their own. That they think they need no one to help them get ahead. An attitude of “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” I think it also that no one wants to mentor. I’m not sure they feel they don’t have time or there is a fear of next generation of workers or a feeling of I did it on my own and it was rough; so we got to treat the new kid rough until he earns his stripes.

Before considering a career in nursing I thought about becoming a veterinarian. I volunteered at a vet’s office and instead of being a mentor and helping me; the vet was a jerk to me and took advantage of my desire to be mentored by him. As I’ve searched for a career I’ve found more discouragement than encouragement. Some of this discouragement came from those I would have thought should have been encouraging. Maybe this because I’m ill suited to any profession, but to me it is part of an attitude in society that I’m unable to define. I think it is related to individualism in this country. Individualism to a degree is good but I don’t think to the extreme that we don’t help anyone else it becomes an evil. I could have made a good vet with the appropriate encouragement, but at the time I had just got married, was getting older and didn’t have time to struggle getting started in a new career no matter how good I was going to be in it.

I really dislike the necessity of reinventing myself every 2 or 3 years. I really don’t know if it will ever end. I’ve done so many jobs and had so many education experiences. I’ve worked landscaping, grocery clerk, factory work, BS in Biology, the zoo, a bakery, a restaurant cook, a bookseller, grant assistant, and I’m not about to complete a degree in nursing and enter the nursing work force. Then what? I’m considering going on to get a master’s in public health. I’m jealous of those that know exactly what they wanted to do from the time they were children.

I don’t think I understood when I lost my job at the zoo that I would have to continue on indefinitely looking for my niche in the work force and that I would feel like Sisyphus as I go from one career to another on into the eternities. Now back to rolling the rock up the hill again.

Only Fast Running Will Do

I recently ran the Kenton County Library “Racing to Read” 5k. My time this year was 28 minutes and 17 seconds. This was a disappointment considering I have been training to run a marathon since the end of February. I thought there would be at least some improvement from last year when I ran the same race in the same amount of time. This left me feeling like the last few months of training hadn’t really paid off. I then began contemplating whether I should be running 5k’s for the rest of the summer and trying to improve my time or continue with the training I started and run the Columbus marathon in October.

Only fast running will do.

I really haven’t been feeling the improvement with the long runs I’ve been doing over the last few weeks when compared with March. I think my heart and lungs have adapted and my legs were starting to catch up as well. So this past week I began speed training and concentrating on the 5k times. I’ve already signed up for the “Run for the Levy” 5k which benefits the Clermont County MRDD. It is on July 11th and I hoping to see some improvement with the new training I’m doing.

Only fast running will do.

I can really feel the difference working on my times. I’m glad that I started by building up my distance running. I think it has done me good to get those miles under my belt before I started on time. Speed training seems much harder than distance, but somehow I feel better when I’m finished with the speed training. I feel more accomplished even though the distance isn’t as great. Working on speed helps me to feel like I’m making progress.

Only fast running will do.

Monday Morning Poetry: Friends and a Ball Game

Ball caps, bottled water, soft sided cooler, game tickets.
Beautiful day.
The car is ready to move,
we hit the road,
and get downtown,
It takes time to find parking,
even with a map,
we are down one street and up another,
finally an open garage,
up and up to find an empty space.
Down and down we walk,
on the street dodging the traffic,
walking light man,
flashing red hand,
homeless man,
Stadium seats easy to find,
bake in the sun,
uneven sunburns,
losing home team,
don’t even keep it close.
But there are good friends,
good weather,
good times.
I love my trip to the ball park.

Spring Shopping

This morning I went on a shopping trip
For peppers, tomatoes and petunias
to plant in my garden.
For the harvest and the beauty they will give in return,
We get home and work ourselves into pots
and soil and the water and the sun.
We enjoy the work and the soil, the water and the sun
We have the promise of growth.
The garden’s efforts are my own.
We look for nourishment from our roots.
We wait to share what the fall harvest brings.

The Newspage on Running

I’ve been training for a marathon for nearly 12 weeks now. Besides some pain in lower right leg, I think it is going well. I have to admit some doubt has come into my mind that I can actually complete the whole 26.2 miles. Even though I have my doubts I’m not going to reconsider my goal. The goal has kept me running longer and more consistently than any other time in my life.
This morning I just finished Murakami’s What I Talk about When I Talk about Running. I found the author’s thoughts on running enjoyable and enlightening. He has run a marathon almost every year for the last 25 years. He even ran an ultra marathon that was 62 miles and during the writing of his book ran a few triathlons. The book is short memoir that I think is well worth reading for those who enjoy Murakami’s writing or running or, like me, both. Even though Murakami doesn’t want to compel others to run I still think it is good book for those who don’t run. He suggests in his book that running is not for everyone and I would agree. He wrote about running because it was part of his life and he has his own reasons he continues to run even as he ages. The reason I’m writing about running is to give my experiences and over the last few weeks running has been a big part of my life as I train for this marathon.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned that I’m going to have good days running and I’m going to have bad days but I need to run consistently to know the difference. Without running every day, or almost every day, I end up lacking motivation. I end up putting it off. “Ah, I’ll just do that tomorrow,” is what I think to myself and tomorrow never comes. So even when I hurt I still run and after the first 10-20 minutes it disappears though it is always slow going during that time before the pain backs off. It’s not bad pain or I would have to reconsider.
If you read my blog regularly you may have noticed the running blogs that I’ve recently added to my blog list. I felt some by putting them there I owed my readers an explanation of what is going on with me and running habits. I will continue to write about my experiences on training for this marathon from time to time.

Monday Morning Poetry: Sleeping on the Couch

quiet early morning
only birds and old men are awake.
I’m stepping softly not to disturb the silence.
or mom sleeping on the couch
up late with a book and a pie,
empty plate and crusty fork,
opened up and face down,
looking rough,
a paperback novel,
it could be,
suspense or,
a mystery.
I step closer to see,
She still has her glasses on.
wrapped up in gold and brown, a afghan.
wrapped up in patience and grace, my mother.
my presence wakes her
“good morning son.”

Monday Morning Poetry: Vacation Haiku

Spring is here, flowers, beauty
Too much work to do
Vacation is Salvation